At last...
After a mostly thankless summer, my favorite season has arrived, and with it, a feeling of long sought hope; something I have lacked for some time now.
I have my car back again, but this time after almost a month in the shop, it's finally actually really and truly fixed. Phew. I am relieved and ecstatic. Life on Long Island without transportation is like being stranded on the island of misfit toys.
My exile now at an end, I am turning my attention to getting my freaking life truly together. It's not gonna be easy, because I am starting from the bare ground up, and trying to learn how to build a foundation.
What I have come to cherish this summer (even more than I already did) are my friends. They have kept me semi-sane during a time in my life where I was often too close to drawing on the walls of a padded cell with a crayon between my toes.
I also have had one special person that, even from afar, has fired my imagination, my heart and my loins. I am deeply grateful to him for more than I can truly express. He has caused me to begin to believe in myself once again. He has inspired me to try again; to try, no matter what the outcome, to try and be willing to fail, to try and be open to succeeding. I believe in him, and so, if he sees so much good in me, I must try to see myself through his eyes more and believe in myself again.
I can't even put his full impact in my life into words, at least not here (there is much I reveal only to my real journal). This is merely my public tribute to him, a pale token of his true meaning to me. He is a Prince to me, in a world that has mostly lost the pure essence of nobility, as well as honor, chivalry, and manhood.
I know we are two rarities meeting, and I don't take it for granted at any moment. The day still lies ahead of us where we will meet face to face, and then, the story will truly begin in earnest. Right now, we are still in the prologue to Act One, but it is an auspicious beginning.
Postscript: Of course I swore I would not seek a relationship again, let alone another long distance one, but I didn't go looking for this, it found me, and after being friends for a while (I met him before I even met my now ex-bf D.) I could no longer deny that I was being drawn in further. I was not pulled in, nor pushed in, I just began to sink into it, like one does a comfortable bed after a long day, where it just feels irresistible, and you know, deep down, that you are home.
I have my car back again, but this time after almost a month in the shop, it's finally actually really and truly fixed. Phew. I am relieved and ecstatic. Life on Long Island without transportation is like being stranded on the island of misfit toys.
My exile now at an end, I am turning my attention to getting my freaking life truly together. It's not gonna be easy, because I am starting from the bare ground up, and trying to learn how to build a foundation.
What I have come to cherish this summer (even more than I already did) are my friends. They have kept me semi-sane during a time in my life where I was often too close to drawing on the walls of a padded cell with a crayon between my toes.
I also have had one special person that, even from afar, has fired my imagination, my heart and my loins. I am deeply grateful to him for more than I can truly express. He has caused me to begin to believe in myself once again. He has inspired me to try again; to try, no matter what the outcome, to try and be willing to fail, to try and be open to succeeding. I believe in him, and so, if he sees so much good in me, I must try to see myself through his eyes more and believe in myself again.
I can't even put his full impact in my life into words, at least not here (there is much I reveal only to my real journal). This is merely my public tribute to him, a pale token of his true meaning to me. He is a Prince to me, in a world that has mostly lost the pure essence of nobility, as well as honor, chivalry, and manhood.
I know we are two rarities meeting, and I don't take it for granted at any moment. The day still lies ahead of us where we will meet face to face, and then, the story will truly begin in earnest. Right now, we are still in the prologue to Act One, but it is an auspicious beginning.
Postscript: Of course I swore I would not seek a relationship again, let alone another long distance one, but I didn't go looking for this, it found me, and after being friends for a while (I met him before I even met my now ex-bf D.) I could no longer deny that I was being drawn in further. I was not pulled in, nor pushed in, I just began to sink into it, like one does a comfortable bed after a long day, where it just feels irresistible, and you know, deep down, that you are home.
posted by scribe at 9/14/2006
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